


Savage

by OneThumpAway



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Savage Raph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneThumpAway/pseuds/OneThumpAway
Summary: Leo sucks in sharply as Don starts wiping the blood off his face, letting out a strangled whine. “Don. Don, let me-” the striped turtle tries, sounding more choked up by the second, but the purple-clad teen just shakes his head.“These are serious, Leo. It looks like one may have gotten your eye…”Those are the last words Raph hears before he takes off running.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

When he wakes, he's in the garage. 

“...did this to him! You-You lost it! Again!”

What? What did he… 

“Raph! Look at him!” Don pushes, and finally Raph looks in the direction he points. 

Leo sits against the wall, an obvious crater above him, his plastron scraped up yet again, holding his face in his hands. 

No… 

Raph rushes over, stumbling past a still irritated Donatello, starting to mutter under his breath. “Leo… Leo Leo Leo where's-where's your first aid kit? You have a-”

“Cool it, Raph. I got it,” Leo interrupts. He doesn't got it; his voice is strained, and when he removes his hand to open the pack, blood stains the palm.

Raph’s eyes tear away from the kit to look at Leo in the face, to see the damage he's done, and he sucks in sharply. Three slashes are present, barely visible under all the blood. 

He did that, he _did that_ … 

“God… Can't be left alone for two seconds, can you?” Don mutters as he pushes past Raph to help Leo. 

“I…” 

Leo sucks in sharply as Don starts wiping the blood off his face, letting out a strangled whine. “Don. Don, let me-” the striped turtle tries, sounding more choked up by the second, but the purple-clad teen just shakes his head. 

“These are serious, Leo. It looks like one may have gotten your eye…”

Those are the last words Raph hears before he takes off running. He doesn't know where he's going, but he has to _go_ , or he'll hurt someone _again_ _dammit_. 

_Why run? Why not just accept that you're_ **_going_ ** _to hurt them again, whether it's today or tomorrow or next week…_

He shakes his head to block out the voice, yelling as he trips over his own feet and lands in the sewer water. 

Where is his phone, where are his brothers, where-

_That's right. That's right, everything's gone, everyone's gone. What are ya gonna do?_

He feels his mind starting to cloud over, and he grabs his head. Not again, not again, he can't hurt them _again_. 

_Don't fight it. Ya still gonna give in either way._

He's sitting against a sewer wall now. When did he move? 

He blinks, and now he's in another tunnel, shaking as he walks. He looks around, but can't place himself.

_Lost…_

_Lost lost lost he's_ **_lost_ ** _._

He inhales sharply, putting his hands on either side of his head. He'll find his way out. He will. 

Now he's in an abandoned tunnel. His vision is blurry and dark around the edges. 

_Yer just digging yaself deeper into a hole._

The voice is deeper now, a growling undertone present. Go away go away _go away-_

“RAAAAAAAAPH!”

Huh? Who…

“RAAAAAAAPH! WHERE ARE YOU?” 

That voice is familiar… Not… Not hostile. Right?

_Sewer monster?_

No. No, not sewer monster. Friendly… 

_Attack._

No!

“C'mon, bud! We can go back to the Lair and have some fuckin’ uhhhh… pizza!”

Pizza…

Mi… Mikey! It's Mikey!

Raph’s eyes widen and he scrambles to hide in a side tunnel. Don't hurt Mikey, don't hurt Mikey… 

“You left your phone at the Lair! I have it here!” Mikey calls out, holding up the familiar red device. 

The red-clad turtle huddles into the tunnel he's hiding in, knees brought to his plastron and arms wrapped around them, breathing unevenly. His mind swims, trying to stay completely there, to not get weird again… 

“Raph!”

Shit… 

The orange-clad turtle rushes over, kneeling in front of Raph, who hisses lightly in a nonverbal warning to not touch him. 

“Alright. I gotcha,” the younger reassures, shuffling back just a bit so he can give the obviously distressed snapper some space. _Not_ a time for Dr. Delicate Touch. 

Raph’s second eyelid fluctuates, but his eyes stay stubbornly locked with Mikey's, his lip trembling. He wants to say something, why can't he form any words—

“Leo's fine, y'know.”

That gets his attention. He lets out a questioning noise, something like a grunt. “H…” He swallows as the words slowly form in his head. “He is…?”

“Yep. Don says so, anyway. But I don’t think he’d lie about that,” Mikey says idly, shifting so he’s sitting cross-legged. 

Raph grunts again in confirmation, nodding once. He wouldn't lie… Right?

“Leo probably wants to talk to you.”

What? No, no he can't-he can't go back—

The snapper shakes his head rapidly, tightening his hold on his knees. Can't-Can't go back, at least right now. Gotta calm down first. “I-I— _N-No—_ ”

“Hey, hey, it's okay!” Miguel waves his hands a bit. “We don't have to go now! We can wait a few minutes, letcha gather yourself, ‘n then I can use the GPS to get us back! All good?”

Yeah, that's… that's good. He nods vaguely, although his mind is still kinda muddy. 

His vision swims, and he blinks, and suddenly Mikey is in his grasp, not looking hurt but definitely a bit scared. “Raph! Raph? Buddy? You there?”

Is… Is he? He swallows, putting Mikey down to stand in the sewer water. “I-I…” he tries, but he still can't form any words, holding his hands out as he takes a step back. He hurt him. He hurt him _he hurt him_ —

“Raph, Raph. You're okay. You didn't hurt me, I promise. I'm fine!” the younger turtle tries, as if having read his mind, but Raph doesn't even comprehend the words, his hands on his head again as he breathes deeply, taking another step back. 

“H… Hhh…”

“I think… I think seeing the others will calm you down. Knowing we're all okay. Wanna try?” Mike attempts again, refraining from reaching out for fear of scaring his eldest brother. 

Raph looks at him, mouth opening and closing in an attempt to retort, to say _“no, I can't,”_ but suddenly Donnie's there, panting. 

“Fuck! Raph, why the hell did you—?!” the genius cuts off when Raph's lips curl back at the yelling. He takes a deep breath, then when he speaks again, his tone is calmer. “Why did you run off?”

“Wh… Where… Where's Leo…?” the snapper asked instead of answering, not completely comprehending the question anyway. 

“April's watching him. You barely missed his eye, dude. Those were some pretty gnarly scratches.” At his elder brother's panicked expression, the purple-clad teen corrects himself. “But he's fine. He wants to talk to you.”

That's the second time someone's said that. Is it true? Why would Leo want to talk to him? He-He hurt him, he _physically scarred_ him, _again._

“It'll make him feel better, dude!” Mike tries. 

Raph looks down at them, silently debating, and then starts twiddling his thumbs. He _does_ want to make sure he's really okay… 

“O… Okay… Y-Yeah, I wanna see him…” 

“‘Ey, thatta turt!” Michael cheers, and without thinking he vaults himself up on Raph's shoulders. “Vamanos! Or… however Leo says it!”

The snapper startles, but hesitantly grabs the younger’s legs to steady him. Don watches him for a moment, as if to see what he'll do, then sets off in the direction of home. Raph follows, although he doesn't look too eager. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long lmao

Leo’s laying on his side in the med bay when they get back, not facing the other turtles. The first thing Raph notices is that his entire torso is wrapped up in gauze, along with some bandages on the back of the slider’s head, both likely a result of impacting the wall. He doesn’t even want to imagine how his face must be looking… 

“Leo…” the eldest breathes, but doesn’t make a move to approach.

The second youngest doesn’t turn, doesn’t move.

“Hm. He was conscious when I left. Maybe he took a n—” Donnie starts, only to cut off when Miguel starts snickering. “What?” 

“He—He can’t hear us, he has his AirPods in!” the box turtle cackles, hopping down from Raph’s shoulders to approach the maskless slider.

“Maybe don’t—” his eldest brother starts quietly, but before he can get the rest of it Mikey’s poking Leon on the side of the head repeatedly. 

_ “Whaaaaaaaaaat?” _ the latter groans, sitting up to give his younger brother a deadpan look. “I’m listening to the Shrek soundtra...ck.” His eyes land on Raph’s timid form as he takes out the AirPods, and he goes quiet, his somewhat bloodshot eyes softening.

For a second, Raph just stares. There are bandages all over his face, just barely going around his eyes so he can see, and from what Raph can tell the scratches are stitched up. Did he really go that deep…?

“How ya feelin’, bud?” Donnie asks after a moment of silence, approaching the cot and leaving Raph standing stiffly in the doorway.

“I told you, I’m  _ fiiiiine! _ Actually,  _ scratch  _ that,” the slider snorts at his own pun, but doesn't give a very big smile, “I have a  _ bit  _ of a headache. But it's alright, I just need to sleep it off.”

Donatello gives him a deadpan look, and his smile drops. “ _ I'm _ the medic, remember? I think I know,” Leo pouts. 

“Yeah, but you do have a concussion, believe it or not. I'm surprised you couldn't diagnose that yourself, Nardo.”

“Hm. Maybe it's  _ because _ of the concussion?”

The twins glare at each other, and Leo looks away first. “Whatever. Just let me talk to Raph and I'll get some rest.”

Said snapper somehow tenses more at that, taking a step backwards and stuttering, only to be stopped by a much smaller form. He looks backwards and sees Mikey pushing against his shell. “Don't even think about it, big guy. He wants to talk to you.”

Raph scrunches his beak up, then looks back at Leo, who's turning off his music on his phone. “...Fine. But—”

“C'mon, Raph. I'll be quick, ‘n then you can go about your day,” Leo assures him, putting his phone down on the cot. 

Raph snorts quietly at that, hardly noticing as Donnie and Mikey sneak out. As if he'll be able to “go about his day” for a _ while. _

The two stare at each other for a bit, Leo's eyes squinted from the light but still almost digging into Raph's. 

“...Hey,” the slider finally tries.

Raph just grunts, not making any move to cross the room. His arms fold on his chest and he breaks eye contact to stare at the wall. 

“I hope you’re not feeling bad about this, Raph.”

“Not feeling b—Of course I feel bad!” The snapper throws his hands up, looking at Leo with distressed eyes. “I could've killed ya!”

“You could've.” The striped shrugs, then rubs his shoulder in pain. “You didn't, though.”

Raph doesn't answer, crossing his arms and looking at the ground now. 

“What set you off, anyway, dude? You were fine taking your… nap…”

_ Raph sobbed, kneeling on the ground in the sewers, hands on his head, gripping tightly, nails digging into his scalp as he tried to breathe.  _

**_“Brothers gone—”_ **

“...A nightmare, huh?” Leo asks, breaking the spiked turtle from his thoughts. 

“...”

The slider purses his lips, scrunching up his beak. “Look, I just don't want you to beat yourself up over this. It wasn't your f—”

“Not my fault?!” Raph demands, looking back up and taking a step forward, pointing at his own plastron. “Of course it's my fault, I should've—I should've been able to stop myself before I—I did  _ this!” _ He gestures to Leo, who gives him a flat look. “You should be  _ scared of me!” _

“It was not. Your.  _ Fault.  _ Your snapper instincts are hard to control, and we get it!” the younger exclaims. “Nobody's gonna hold this against you!”

Raph visibly deflates and starts fumbling with his fingers, not looking at his brother anymore. 

Leo sighs quietly, starting to stand, only to gasp painfully and curl into himself a bit. His brother is immediately next to him, helping him back on the cot. “Leo, don’t try to—”

“Now. Why would I be scared of my caring, loving brother who would come and help me at the drop of a hat?”

Raph sighs, sitting down heavily on the cot next to his brother; the force is so heavy, though, that Leo ends up bumping into the leader. “I’m just… scared. I don’t wanna do something irreversible,” Raph admits, looking down at the ground again.

“I get that, big guy. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen. And if it does, well…” the striped turtle shrugs. “We’ll see. I trust you, though.”

Another sigh comes from the eldest, and he puts his head in his hands. “Alright… Alright, fine.”

“Awesome.” Leo pats his brother's shoulder. “Now can you lemme sleep? Don't tell Don I said this, but he was right about that concussion.”

A small laugh comes from Raph. “Gotcha.”


End file.
